Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You are a genius and a whore.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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