i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
