it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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