i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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