And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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