you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
