So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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