He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.