OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party