Do you still have your period?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am