wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills