P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...