You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.