Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I know her cup size but not her name....
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
