I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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