I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
