i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
