Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
