I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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