I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?