He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable