If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops