super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
