first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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