What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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