so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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