you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
