honey bunches of taint.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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