i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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