What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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