dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You can't motorboat a personality
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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