He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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