this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
