My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
