its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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