we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
