i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
