Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Rumble strips road head = magical
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
