I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
