don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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