so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
