she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize