Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
