You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize