He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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