1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
