i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
