he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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