So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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