one word: firstdatebathroomanal
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
