Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
