So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
