Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
