he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
