I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
