Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
This is the high leading the old right now
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
