plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
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