you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
