i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize