apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
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I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We don't watch enough power rangers
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
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That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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