Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize