You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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