Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
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I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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