You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
