i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Four minutes until I can fart!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.