DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
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i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
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I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's